Total Randomness
by Afterthought and Ellipses
Summary: Hermione has her period, Snape has a bad day and Ron is continually lunged at.


Total Randomness

By Afterthought

Disclaimer: I still don't own anything. This all belongs to J.K. Rowling…I just like playing with it. :))

A/N: So…yeah, Ellipses isn't here again. Actually I made this a couple of months ago but didn't post it cuz it was written on my notebook and not on the laptop. It's sort of like Completely Plotless so it's comedy once again. :D Hope you guys enjoy.

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**8 pm. Gryffindor Common Room**

"RON!!!" Hermione yelled, angrily as she marched in the Gryffindor Common Room.

Ron groaned and yelled back "What did I do NOW?!?!?!"

"Why is your hair so goddamn red?!?!" she shrieked

Ron gave a startled and confused look "Uh…what?" he asked.

"I. Asked. You. A. Question!!"

"But—" Ron stuttered, looking extremely terrified.

"ANSWER ME, DAMN YOU!" she went on, looking like the Hungarian Horntail that Harry faced back in their 4th year.

"Uh…uh…it's in my genes?" he whimpered

"JEANS? JEANS?!? What do your Levi's have to do with your freaking red hair?!?!"

"No! No! DNA! You know, G-E-N-E-S!" He said, panicking.

"Are you implying that I'm stupid and don't know how to spell genes?!?!" she continued screaming.

"Hermione, no! I-I-I….I'm just panicking!!" he cried, not knowing what to do anymore.

"Panicking, huh? Well I'll GIVE you something to panic about!!"

With that said, she lunged at Ron.

Kick after kick, punch after punch and slap after slap, Hermione released her anger at Ron for being…well…ginger.

Finally, Harry came bursting in the Common Room and tried pulling Hermione off of Ron.

After successfully…er…dragging Hermione, Harry asked "Hermione, what in Merlin's name is wrong with you today?"

"Wrong? Wrong? What's wrong is that I've got my freaking period today!" she yelled.

Harry's mouth curved into a perfect "o" while Ron (who was pulling himself up) asked "Whaddaya mean you've got a period?"

Her nose was flaring and her eyes were blazing and she looked just about ready to kill Ronald Bilius Weasley. "I mean, I've got my fu**ing menstruation today!!!" she yelled.

"What's a menstruation anyways? Like, bad grades? Oh, hell, I've got menstruation every fu**ing day!" Ron cried while Harry tried to shut him up.

"GAH!!" Hermione shrieked and lunged at Ron…again.

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A/N: Poor Ron. Lol. Hogwarts students should have a Health Class too. =))

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**4 pm. Potions.**

Ron was sitting as far away from Hermione as possible, Hermione's eyes kept on narrowing every time she caught sight of Ron and Harry tried to keep them from having World War III.

"Weasley!" Snape sneered "Why aren't you sitting beside Granger?"

"Well, why do you have such a greasy nose?" Harry retorted.

"Why do you have those stupid glasses?" Snape replied, sticking his tongue out at Harry. (A/N: I'm afraid I might have been on drugs the day I wrote this. Haha.)

"Why haven't you got a girlfriend?" Harry yelled.

Snape stared at him, face burning up, adding color for the first time on that pale face of his.

"You luuurrrvved my mum, didn't you Snivellus? Well, too bad, she chose my dad remember?"

Finally, Snape snapped (A/N: HAHAHAHA I love saying that!). BIG TIME. He grabbed the first person he saw (Ron) and threw him out the dungeon.

Hermione, due to her mood swings and cramps, grabbed Snape's book, threw it in a couldren and pulled on Snape's abnormal hair.

Harry, once again, tried to stop Hermione.

"Hermione! Okay, you showed your point. Now let go of Snape's hair!" Harry pleaded, tugging at her shoulders.

"No! I'm not yet done! I haven't even punched his greasy nose!!"

As Harry tried to peel (disgusting term) Hermione off of Snape, the rest of the class joined in the fun. (A/N: Sorry Snape. :)) )

And so, after Harry successfully got Hermione off, Neville dunked Snape's head into a cauldron.

It went on and on and on until the bell rang and the class went back to their normal lives.

Ron staggered back into the classroom where he found Harry trying to mollify Hermione.

"What'd I miss?" he asked them.

"The usual. Everyone dunked Snape into a cauldron then slapped his arse a good dozen of times then as soon as the bell rang, went back to their regular lives."

"So…nothing much, then?"

"Yeap." Harry grinned at him.

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A/N: LOL! The randomness continues! =)) Sarreh. I is on drugs.

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**7 pm. Great Hall.**

Seamus Finnigan had an evil look on his face. That was a BAD sign.

Harry, having seen Seamus's Malfoy-like smirk, screamed "CODE RED! CODE RED! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL!"

One word could describe the situation of the Great Hall: MADNESS!!!!!!

Everyone was going wild! There were students under the tables, students racing towards the door and students, who have been at school long enough and knew what they needed to do to save themselves, grabbed their food with their hands.

Then, Seamus screamed "FOOD FIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Various types of food were flying in the air. Even the teachers joined in.

Treacle Tart landed on Hermione's head and with a "war" look on her face, she grabbed a muffin and threw it.

Said muffin landed exactly in Snape's mouth. Choking, he fell on the floor. He was just turning purple when Malfoy stepped on his stomach and the muffin exploded from his mouth and landed on Malfoy's pretty-boy face.

Snape stood up and screamed at the Great Hall: "THIS MEANS WAR!!!!!!!!!!!"

Lifting his wand, he yelled "Foliftun Livus!"

Then, all the food on the teachers' table sprang to life and threw themselves towards the students.

The students were at a loss at what to do next. Well, except Ron.

He dove under the table in which Harry and Hermione were hiding and whispered "Harry, Hermione. Come here!!"

"What?" Hermione hissed. "Can't you see we're at war??"

"I've got an idea…why don't we eat the food he's throwing at us?" he told them.

"Brilliant, Ron. You start." Hermione said sarcastically.

Ron, oblivious to her sarcasm, stood up and aimed at the meatball hurdling towards him.

"Fight! Fight! Fight!" the meatball screamed.

And Ron jumped. He opened his mouth and caught the meatball. He chewed quickly, then swallowed. After that, he continued scarfing down all the food hurdling his way.

Suddenly everyone in the Great Hall followed suit.

"NOOOO!" Snape screamed, kneeling down as the fires ceased.

And finally, Dumbledore spoke "The war has ended!"

The whole school celebrated, all except Snape.

"Wait, wait, wait! What about Voldy?" Harry said.

"Oh yeah…" They all said, then Dean replied "Don't worry about him…I just heard, he's got a bad case of diarrhoea."

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A/N: Lawl. Diarrhoea. XDD. Again, sorry. Super hyper. So…that ends this fic. Hope you guys enjoyed! Please review!


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